The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America (Bird Books, Books for Bird Lovers, Humor Books) (Paperback)
Guess what color this dumb bluebird bird is! Now that we've covered identification, let's talk about the real story here, which is that this bird is a loser. They are what's called a "cavity nester," which means they live in holes, but these schmucks can't even dig out their own holes because their beaks are too weak. They have to squat in abandoned woodpecker nests or whatever other hole they can find. Failing that, they move into man-made nest boxes, which are basically bird slums, where they're attacked by competing freeloaders like starlings and house sparrows. Then there are the raccoons, cats, possums, and various hawks who can't wait to fuck up a bluebird, or make off with an egg. Oh, and ants, bees, wasps, and earwigs all love to get into a bluebird-hole and cause problems for the young. Born. Loser.
Father Figures: Western bluebirds appear to form monogamous pairs each year, but in genetic studies, 45% of nests had young that were not fathered by the male partner. Son of a bitch can't catch a break.
Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike
A humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true.
Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!
• Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.
• The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.
• Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds.
"There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – Uncrate
A humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds
• A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book
• Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift
-Northwest Arkansas Democrat Gazette
"There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. "
"Matt Kracht's hilarious, fully illustrated, obscenely satirical spoof, 'The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America.' The bizarrely-behaving 50 birds that Kracht describes are technically real - the White-Breasted Nuthatch, the Canada Goose, etc. - though the author can't resist giving them insulting nicknames (The White-Breasted Butt Nugget, for example) while pointing out their various annoying peculiarities."
Holiday Gift Pick "A delightfully juvenile fake field guide about birds with such names as White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose as they are commonly known.) This book exists solely to make us giggle."
"This genius handbook by Matt Kracht takes a humorous approach to identifying 50 "dumb" North American birds - highlights include the "White-Breasted Butt Nugget" and the "Goddamned Canada Goose," along with facts about the birds' "annoying" calls, "dumb" migratory patterns, "downright tacky" markings, etc."